Rainbow Hearts

Andrew Monteith (Portland, Oregon)

Hey!
I got something I need to say.
Gotta get this off my chest
Gotta give my heart a rest
Cause I know this planet spinning
In this war that I’m not winning
This battle that I fight
I shouldn’t even be in
Yeah, you heard me right
I’m just trying to get my freedom
But I cry myself to sleep
Curse this closet that I hide in
My head
My heart
They’re broken
And they’re bleeding
But my parents turn a blind eye
And tell me they don’t see them
I’m hurting
And I’m beaten
Just for being me
Tell me,
My parent’s,
Why don’t you wanna see?
Yeah, I’m not Cisgender
There’s nothing wrong with that
So why is when I say it,
They just push to the back
And say
“Ha!
No!
That’s not what we
Believe in!”
Can’t they see
I’m terrified
I’m broken
And I’m bleeding?
I’m scared of my dad
I’m scared of what he’ll do
If he sees I like men,
And that I feel like one too
Though some days
I give in
And with that
He is fine
As long as I don’t love
Anyone who ain’t confined
By rules long outdated
Tell me why I’m hated
My genitals
And gender
And I call myself “pretender”
But with everything
They say
I feel
My soul slip away
Maybe I was broken
And bleeding from the start
But maybe in my brokenness
I found my rainbow heart
Now all I gotta do
Is step outside the line
And open up my chest
And let those colors shine