Bill Pappas (Chapel Hill/Carborro/Boone/Asheville, NC)
(author’s note: I am writing this in response to my anonymous piece “Human Illumination Virus” from last issue. I can no longer remain in the shadow of stigma and therefore I choose to be stronger. My heart can be strong enough for all of us. I am thankful for language and the light it shines on the dark corners of transformation.)
Queer as in Disabled
Walking, breathing, loving, trees of life.
We are sharing seeds. Ideas and semen. Love and blood.
My body has been colonized. Open embodiment. Wild. Inknowing.
reSelfing reWilding
this is my give back. Take back. Reach around love
planting
Pleasure is power
Sensually activated
Kundalini rise, chakra align, cosmic reboot
Butt fucking
Relearn sex as sacred]
Protect the faggot magic
Sex workers, magic makers, sex magic, sex liberators
Flaunt my sex in all directions. Call the corners
A gentle anarchy
The New World Dysorder
Viral underclass
Sexual camaraderie.
Be loud and graceful.
Transmuting our fear
Throw off shame. Love my ass.
I am erotic space. Light hearted.
Shared experience, lived.
Faggots like me.
Reveal ancient memories
The water will wash away all that is outdated and not serving
Our future heart
Wet and willing
I am
Encouraged by the flooding of my soul and bloodstream
With this cosmic energy
Just remember and be earnest.
Love action.
Fluid flowing fun finally!
Time for transparency
Technician of the sacred
I refuse to accept your fear.
Banish shame, stigma, ignorance
Binding spell.
Love is not judgment
The bottom of the pyramid must become the top
Poz for pleasure, taking back the sacred masculine
IT’S A VIRUS, IT DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE
The truth of a body
I love AIDS
It is in sharing defiance that hope resides
I cum as rain against the destructive fire of our enmity:
extinguish our hostility
to self and other.
Squishy love.
The Human Illumination Virus
What orgasms aspire to be
Any place can be prison if you allow it.
My body was mine.
It started out as a biological weapon now it’s a source of illumination
The migration of fluid of words (spoken and unspoken),
and actions between bodies.
Beautiful and fearless.
I am living.
Seed your soul
You are hiv positive.
Restore your sexual sovereignty
I refuse to succumb to this interdimensional virus of fear. Traversing the terrain of transparency, I am acting out with every beat of my heart. The fact that I am still alive is a protest and a celebration..
