For Isa

JJ Langley (Thirsk, North Yorkshire, England)

Please forgive me, this world is not my own
Please forgive me, I’ll be leaving on my own
Please don’t judge me, I will not sit on that throne
Please don’t hang me, I can do that on my own

My true colours, will never be free
In the closet, it’s not warm enough for me…

Cause the weight of the world is always bringing me down (Atlas couldn’t help me)
Now I’m six feet underground…

Please don’t love me, I’ll just ask for more
You were my blood, now it runs across the floor
Sleepless nights asking if I’m right inside
Fight or flight, no one ever takes my side…

Its not safe to walk the streets knowing the world is not my friend
Constant rumination, “will it ever end?”

This is my final cry out against the world
But it was never heard…

In the mirror, someone’s starting back at me
Who is that human? That can’t be me

Because he’s gay, that’s not allowed
He should be straight to make his parents proud

Rest in peace Isa Shakmarli, I hope you find the serenity you were fighting for…