Does She Know I’m Trans?

Jermanni E.S. Cooper (Rocky Mount, NC)

Does she know
Does she know
Does she know!…
that I am trans

We sit there looking at each other through a tiny glass screen.
I’m falling for her every time she talks, every time she talks

Every time she thinks something I do is funny. Laughing at my stupidity because she thinks it’s cute.

Does she know, Does she know, does she  know!… That I am trans

How do you fall so close to a person, then realize you have to tell them what’s really up with you. Why you’re depressed, why you’re Ribcages feel broken, or why you have to stab yourself with a needle each week.
Does she know, does she know!….
That I am trans.

I just sit there thinking to myself how do you tell someone like that, that you’re trans. Someone who seems to be in love with boys.
Then she sees  me, who appears to be a cis guy because I pass apparently so well… to her beautiful eyes.

With each day the closer we get, I’m falling apart because I know. . I know  I want her more, but I have something to get off  my chest, something to confess
Something to confess… to her

All that flows through my mind is…
Does she know?  Does she know?….  That I am trans.

The other day….
the other day when we were on video chat. I told her… I  loved her. And the day before that… I confessed
I confessed that I was crushing.. on her that is.  The moment when she told me she loved me back. It felt like my whole world had stopped.
At the time I was in a relationship that was out of wack. Out of wack, torn and broken.
Then the more I hang with her, I’m happy but I can’t! I can’t stop thinking that this is going to end badly. Because sadly… she is not aware. Aware of who I am.

Does she know, does she know, does she know….. That I AM TRANS.

So we’re talking once again inside that tiny screen. Smiling….
smiling at one another than we decide to plan a trip to meet.   We’re not dating yet,

but I know… it’s just a matter of time before.. before  we’re under the covers cuddling. Then she’ll reach over… tugging and tugging on my shirt.

She has no idea that I am trans and what is hidden under these clothes. I’m not going to lie, my sex drive insane,

but dang how do I tell her?

Does she know that I am trans? She has
no clue, or am I really sure?

September 29. I asked her out after writing her a sweet letter I asked her To be mines.
Of course she says yes because at this point after she said  she loved me too it was only a matter of time. A Matter time before I would be calling her my girlfriend.

I’m stuck,
trapped because… because now I have to tell her. Telling her that I am trans, more like telling her I’m freaking out. She’ll  never date me after this.
But, At least I can say she was my gf for about a day.

Then I got big news.
News that I would die for.
Something hit me hard,
so hard that it made me move. I jumped to my feet after hearing these words. I was soo excited, but….  but

The question is, the question still remains
Does she know that I am trans?…..
Yes and she still loves me.